An ongoing investigation into one (1) sophomore
EXHIBIT A
She studies the brain. She plays volleyball. She wears kite & double T. She attends a small liberal arts college that you may have heard of, attached to a larger one she would like you to please stop confusing it with.
EXHIBIT B Β· "MILLIE"
Β§ 01 Β· Dossier
Β§ 02 Β· The Mind
She is, by all accounts, studying her own situation. The brain is a deeply mysterious organ which, when prompted, can produce both a 7-page paper on synaptic plasticity and a 40-minute monologue about a dog named Biscuit.
Current research focus: the neural correlates of pretending to be cool when you see a pomeranian on campus.
Diagram is for illustrative purposes only. No actual neurons were consulted. Region sizes not to scale. Spike Lobe may be smaller in off-season.
Β§ 03 Β· Athletics
It involves a net. It involves the ground, which she is told to avoid. It involves yelling "mine" and then sometimes not actually meaning it. Below are some extremely real statistics.
Β§ 04 Β· Sisterhood
Lhadze is a proud member of Kappa Alpha Theta, an organization which exists primarily to ensure that she has approximately 80 group chats she cannot leave. Letters worn. Songs known. Crafts crafted. The kite flies on.
β this site is not endorsed by Theta, its officers, or any sister who has actually seen it β
Β§ 05 Β· The Real Reason You're Here
A non-exhaustive catalogue of dogs she has stopped on the sidewalk for. Names, where known, are approximate. Ratings are absolute and final.
Β§ 06 Β· Endorsements